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Chapter 3

 

For me, the biggest idea in this chapter was the first that was presented. Attending behavior includes so many facets that are vital to the counseling relationship. As the text states, attending is the foundation of listening (Ivey, et. al., p. 65). There are so many subtle ways that a counselor can communicate attention to our clients; one must be very aware of each movement one makes, how one sits, where one’s hands are, and this list goes on. Any observable behavior, whether conscious or unconscious, has the potential to affect a client. Clients know whether or not counselors are invested in knowing them and their stories long before the need for reflective, active listening has arisen. As I was reading this section, I was thinking to myself that I tend to lean back in my chair, and I need to become more aware of this and make an effort to present myself as more actively attending to my client.

Honestly, I am still struggling with the whole idea of having a specific style and adopting a specific theory. The few counselors I have seen, plus my supervisor in my practicum, have not seemed to adhere to one specific method or way of doing things. I think they all did some things in common, like reframing cognitive distortions, but when we studied the various theories, none of them seemed to match any of my counselors closely. I wonder if I am still so early in my process that I have not discovered my style. I still interact with children as if I were a teacher, which I think is habit. With the teens that I see, most of the time the session feels like a conversation. As far as theories go, I am attracted to Adlerian theory, and I am even more interested in it since I learned that there is Adlerian play therapy. I definitely think this chapter gave me something to think about concerning my body language during sessions. Also, I wonder if I talk too much, particularly with my teenaged clients, so I believe I need to concentrate on listening in silence more.

I have taught students listening skills and attending as part of social skills training. I see no reason why something similar would not be valuable in a clinical setting. I have a hard time seeing how it would work in a one-on-one situation, but I see incredible value in offering the psychoeducation in small groups. One reason that I feel I was attracted to counseling is that it is related to teaching. I think that counselors help their clients learn. It is just not general curricula, it is more about life skills, advocacy, and practicing good mental health habits. We teach our clients how to do things for themselves so that they can function more effectively and happily in the world.

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